Ain't No Place for No Hero
by ThatOnePsycho
Summary: ...But that didn't mean Ruby couldn't try to be a good person. All that was in her way was a sadistic cowgirl, her (temporary) boss's growing psychosis, and the crazy woman trying to blow up the moon. What was it Lilith always says? Ain't no rest for the wicked?
1. Chapter 1

"Why am I doing this?"

"I told you, Moxxi doesn't trust Jack."

"Yeah, but why _me_? Couldn't you have gotten Mordecai to do it?"

"He's refusing to talk to Moxxi."

"Yeah," Ruby muttered under her breath, spinning the wheel on her modified truck, ignoring the sickening crunch as a Skag went under the wheels "That's what happens when you ditch someone for an egotist. I mean really," she slapped the envelope holding her "team's" information, "why does the head of a space station out in the Borderlands need a body double? Why the hell does Hyperion even need a space station around Pandora? The Vault was a pointless endeavor."

"Besides," Roland's voice continued over the ECHO, unaware of Ruby's irritated grumbling, "weren't you complaining about being bored guarding New Haven? Think of this as a vacation. Me and Lilith are going on one."

Ruby looked to the side, watching the bandit technical pull up, one of the inhabitants making a gesture.

"Give me a second, Roland. I have to deal with something."

Ruby grabbed her modded Unforgiven Masher, bracing her left arm on the corner of the window.

*BANG*

One of the wheels exploded, sending the technical flipping.

Ruby turned into the Catch-A-Ride, letting her truck disappear as she slid on the modified Crimson Lance helmet and started to walk to her destination.

Hitting a button, Ruby watched the HUD flicker on. She waited a second, before the ECHO device implanted at the base of her skull hooked up to it. Looking in the corner, Ruby checked the time.

Five in the morning, normally, she would still be dead to the world.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"So, why do I have to wear this stupid getup?"

The coat lashed around her legs, her gloves were too tight, as were the bindings used to make her appear androgynous, and the air coming through her rebreather/O2 kit was stale.

It sucked, she wanted to be back in her normal outfit.

"We don't need anyone finding out we got two Sirens."

"Yeah," Ruby scratched the Eridian tattoos coating her left side, Steele and the Vault's last 'gift', they still caused her occasional pain, "Right, I won't be able to talk for a bit, someone is taking care of Drei until I get back, right?"

"Of course."

"And make sure Marcus doesn't steal Crescent Rose."

"Of course."

"Thanks."

"Ruby," Roland's voice was serious, "Good luck. Don't die out there."

"I won't."

Ruby hit a button on the ECHO, letting the voice modulator active as she walked to the Hyperion station. She also stored the backpack full of rations (and a disappointing lack of sugary goods) in her Storage Deck.

The group of six men, women and robots turned as she walked in, all except one reaching for a gun.

Athena, Wilhelm, Nisha, "Jack", a CL4P-TP unit, and-

"Who are you," The fake voice was rough and demanding, turning her normally personable tone into that of a stone cold killer.

Someone had been watching too many bad vids on the ECHO-net when they designed this outfit.

"I," the woman spoke haughtily, "am Lady Aurelia Hammerlock, and you are?"

The fake name for this job popped up in the corner, and the Mercenary turned Bounty Hunter turned Vault Hunter turned… whatever she was now resisted the urge to groan aloud.

Really? That's what the were going with? She'd blame it on Brick, but living next to the guy had made it clear that despite his love of violence, he was one of the more sane members of their little family. Certainly better than Mordy on one of his increasingly common benders.

"Stone Slate."

Could they be more obvious about it being a fake name?

Ruby stepped forward, holding her right hand out to the body double.

"Jack. Pleasure to finally meet you."

The double's eyes widened, before he coughed into his hand, "Uh, very nice to meet you, Slate. The rocket should be here soon, and we can make our way to Helios."

Ruby walked to the side, taking deliberately heavy steps as she got into character.

"Wake me when it does."

-X LINE BREAK X-

Timothy watched as the mercenary his boss had hired fired his gun.

It was, quite frankly, massive, and he was slinging it around like it was nothing.

Two Bandits got too close and both collapsed, holes gouging through their heads.

What was he doing here? He was an actor, not a fighter. Certainly not a badass, like any of the mercenaries.

Even the Claptrap was doing better than he was, and Timothy was aware of how badly that reflected on him.

The body double shot at one of the bandits, the gun missing again.

"Hey."

Tim looked over to where the robotic voice came, and caught the pistol tossed at him.

"What?"

"Don't use that," Slate pointed at the Hyperion pistol in Tim's left hand, casually shooting another bandit through the skull while he did so.

"This is a Hyperion gun, designed-"

"By some idiots who doesn't know how to design a gun," another shot, "That, is an old Hyperion, they're good guns. Accurate."

"He's right," Nisha didn't look away, shooting four bandits in the head, "but I'm curious, how many times have you been around the block, Slate? There were four Unforgiven on Pandora, and old Hyperion are starting to be a rarity."

Tim looked down at the pistol, it was rare? And Slate was just giving it away?

"I've been in the Borderlands since I was fifteen, been on Pandora since the end of last spring."

Nisha made a noise of recognition, "Home sweet home, eh?"

"I could think of somewhere I'd rather be, but can't," the clipped answer came.

Athena gave a grunt of agreement, swinging her swords through the throat of a bandit.

"Isn't, uh, isn't a season not that long?" Tim asked, aiming the gun at a bandit.

"You're new to Pandora, aren't you, pretty boy? It's a Death World. Ninety hour days and a ten earth year orbit. Seasons go on for two and a half earth years, and we're about to enter spring."

That sounded miserable.

Pulling the trigger, and appreciating the lack of sway, Tim watched as the bandit collapsed, a hole in his chest.

Oh, Christ. He could see the blood gathering in the hole. Oh, Christ, Christ, Christ-

"Hey," Wilhelm grabbed him by the arm, "Don't freak out on us now, just because you-"

Warning lights lit up, and Slate growled, the electronic voice dropping to an inhuman pitch.

"This is gonna suck..."

The rocket shook, sending everyone floating in the air.

Timothy closed his eyes, bracing for his death, and wished he had never agreed to this.

-X LINE BREAK X-

Then the ship smashed into something.

Ruby staggered out of the back half of the fuselage, hitting the button on the side of the helmet to unlock it.

Yanking it off, the Vault Hunter gasped for 'fresh' air.

"I miss Pandora already…"

At least the planet had an actual atmosphere, Ruby had spent too much time on ships and moons in the first four years of her travels. Compressed air always made her a bit sick.

"He- Hey! Help! Oh, God. Oh, dammit."

Ruby staggered over to where the body double was stuck, his arm pinned by one of the ship's tailfins. Blood was covering part of it.

"You alright, Jack?"

"Wha- who are you? Wait," Ruby froze as she felt the helmet in her hand. Stupid. A rookie mistake, "Slate? You're a chick?"

"And you aren't Jack," Ruby responded the still active voice modulator making it harsh, heart pumping as she wrapped her hand around her Unforgiven Masher, "Right, Mr. Body Double?"

"I, uh, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm the real Jack!"

Ruby cocked back the hammer, pointing the gun at his skull.

"Whoa, what are you doing, Slate!?"

"Here's the deal, Mr. Body Double, and I know you are one, you agree to not blow my cover, and I don't blow your brains across that ship.

"Hal-"

Ruby shifted her hand half an inch to the left, tearing through the Dahl soldier's shield, and throat, in a single shot.

"Deal?"

"Ok! Ok!"

"Good. Now, let's get you out of there."

Ruby crouched beside him to examine the arm.

Ruby didn't like playing the asshole, but had given up her goal to be a hero long ago. In the Borderlands, there was no such thing.

"So, uh, is Stone your real name?"

"Of course it isn't," Ruby scoffed, poking the arm, "who names their kid Stone Slate?"

"Someone might. So, what's your real name?"

"Ruby. Ruby Rose."

Ruby glanced up as Body Double covered his mouth, "What?"

"Really? You complain about Stone Slate when your name is Ruby Rose?"

"There's nothing wrong with my name," Ruby grumbled, poking his arm again. Nothing.

"No, seriously, who names their kid Ruby Rose?"

"My mom."

"Really? What's her name, Red Rose?"

"Summer, she's dead."

"Oh. Shit, I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Ruby brushed him off, "bite this."

Ruby shoved a digistructed block in Body Double's mouth, waiting for the plasma knife she had nicked from Knoxx's armory to heat up.

"Whut ah oh ohing?"

Once the blade was glowing hot, Ruby swung it through Body's arm.

He screamed into the block, pulling back the cauterized arm back.

Ruby grabbed it, firmly but gently, and started to wrap a bandage around the stump.

"You, you just took off my arm!"

"It was already dead," Ruby answered flippantly, amputations were common in the Borderlands, "I just took it off in a way that you can get a cybernetic one later."

"I don't want a cybernetic!"

"Why not? Even the crappiest one could be used to break a Psycho's skull in a pinch."

"Why would I want to do that!?"

"The fact that you need to ask that, makes me extremely disappointed in you," Ruby reached down, pulling Body up, "Come on, Body Double. Grab your gun, we're moving."

"I'm not a fighter! I'm just an actor with student debt! I'm not a killer like you!"

"Well, that's really too bad," Ruby snarked, ignoring the sting at his comment, "We're all-"

"This base belongs to the Lost Legion! Drop your guns and-"

Ruby fired her gun twice, and two of the three of the soldiers collapsed, before running out.

A muttered curse, and Ruby pulled out a speedloader as the survivor lifted his rifle.

A bang came from behind her, and the last soldier collapsed.

Ruby turned, smiling at him, "Looks like you're more like us than you thought, Killer."

"I have a name."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Timothy Lawrence," Timothy's eyes widened, "but, uh, you can't tell anyone!"

"Alright, but you can't tell anyone that Stone Slate is a girl named Ruby Rose. Come on, let's find a medical vendor and patch you up, Killer."

-X LINE BREAK X-

Timothy followed behind Slate- er, Ruby, cradling his new stump to his chest.

Well, this fucking sucked.

Seriously, he hadn't been on Pandora for a day, and he had already been shot at, nearly blown up, lost an arm, and killed two people.

' _Looks like you're more like us than you thought.'_

Oh, and he had met a pretty girl who could probably kill him thirty times before he could blink.

Ruby shot another Dahl soldier, the legionnaire collapsed without a sound.

"So, uh, what were you doing on Pandora?"

"What do you care?" the heartless voice responded.

"I'm just curious, and can you turn off that voice thing until we find the rest? It's not like it's helping."

Ruby hit a button on the helmet, "better?" she had a cheerful voice, unlike the robotic monotone of Slate.

"Yeah, so?"

Ruby shrugged, "What's anyone doing on Pandora? We have nowhere else to go."

"What do you mean?"

Ruby laughed, "You didn't do any research before you came here, did you, Killer?"

"Uh, no?"

"Everyone who came to Pandora came for one of three reasons, they're criminals, they came with one of the companies, or they're Vault Hunters."

"Which were you?"

"I was a bounty hunter at the time, came hunting for a bandit lord and never left. There was plenty of work here."

Ruby stopped in front of a vending machine with a stylized image of a woman winking and holding a syringe.

"There isn't work now?"

"Oh, there is, I just don't need it."

"Why's that?"

"I'm rich."

Timothy rolled his eyes, yeah right. Why would someone rich be here getting shot at, instead of off planet?

"How'd that happen?"

"Went hunting for a AWOL Atlas soldier, got tied up in the Vault Hunt instead. Catch."

Ruby threw a syringe at him, filled with a deep red liquid.

"What's this?"

"It forces cell division in damaged areas or something, I don't know, I'm not a doctor. It won't regrow your arm, but it will heal the burns while I get you a prosthetic."

"Uh…"

"What?"

"I don't like needles," Timothy held the syringe away from his body, eyeing the hypodermic needle at the end.

"Oh, for God's sake," Ruby grabbed the needle from his hand, latching on to his handless arm, "stand still, you baby."

"He- Hey! Let me go!"

Ruby drove the needle into his arm, pressing down the plunger.

"There, now let it do the work while I finish this," Ruby turned back to the machine, hitting a series of buttons on the holographic display.

Timothy felt a wave of vertigo wash over him, sliding down next to the console.

"So, you said you got involved in the Vault Hunt, what is the Vault? I know Jack's dragged us into looking for one, but I don't really know what one is."

"You grew up on a Inner World, didn't you, Killer?"

"Uh… Eden-4."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. The Vault was a legend in the Borderlands. We knew it existed, but we didn't know what was in it, so everyone made their own stories. Weapons, money, power, women. You name it, the Vault would supposedly give it to you."

"And you helped open it?"

"Yep."

"What was in it?"

"Tentacles. Tentacles and disappointment."

"Uh… what?"

"There was some interdimensional monster in it, we shot it till it died and dropped a bunch of crappy guns. End of story."

Ruby had started to fiddle with something that had dropped into her hands.

"Then how'd you get rich?"

"We fought a lot of people and took their stuff, running Atlas off Pandora let us grab a bunch of their experimental gear and Eridian tech and sell it on the black market. Need a hand?"

Ruby turned, holding out a cybernetic hand.

After a brief moment her voice came over the speakers, "Sorry, was that pun bad? My sister loved them."

Oh Jesus.

"No, no it was fine!"

God, she was cute.

Why were the cute ones always either out of his league, or completely insane?

Ruby crouched down, unwrapping the bandages and sliding the hand over his arm.

After a moment, and a prick of pain, Tim felt his hand.

"What- I can feel?"

"It's an advanced model, has feeling, a layer that feels like skin, and a SD that can hold one blueprint. I'd suggest getting a Tediore weapon. It's what I do."

"I… I can't take this!"

"Why not?"

"It has to have cost a ton!"

"So? I don't use my money, and you'll be useless with one arm, and I know this is a good model. Besides, I might not be a hero, but that doesn't mean I can't help people."

"But, but-"

"-gotta get into a moonshot container."

Ruby hit the button again, and Stone Slate stood up as the elevator rose.

The rest of their team walked in, following the man Tim was made to look like.

"Hey! You're the other two I sent for! We were sure you were dead! Alright, in the Moonshot cannon, we need to get out of here," Jack walked passed them, typing on the controls.

Moonshot? Tim turned his head to look at the massive indent in the wall, shaped like a bullet...

"You want us to get into that!?"

"'Everything is air-droppable at least once,'" Ruby and Wilhelm chorused.

Then they fist bumped.

"Alright, we should land within ten kilometers of Concordia. Everyone get in before they find us!"

-X LINE BREAK X-

"This is embarrassing. Stand up, Killer."

Ruby stared down, where Timothy was clinging to her leg, screaming in fear.

She would admit, she hadn't expected to be shot out of a giant gun when she got roped into this.

This was fun.

God, when had she became like Yang?

"Jeez, this is my body double? Kinda embarrassing."

"He's got it when it counts."

"Yeah, but look at him, he's clinging to your leg like a child!"

Everyone sat in silence, only broken by the rattling of the crate and Timothy's whimpers of fear.

"Hey, Boss?"

"Yeah?"

"I just thought of something," Wilhelm glanced at the rapidly approaching surface of Elpis, looking surprisingly worried.

"What's that?"

"Isn't Elpis's atmosphere almost completely devoid of oxygen?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Then, uh, how are we supposed to breath? Only Slate has a rebreather."

…

"Ah, crap."

"Well," Nisha said, "you have to admit, if we're going to die, there are worse ways to go than being fired out of a giant gun to the surface of a moon."

Timothy whimpered louder.

"We're not going to die here, Killer. Up you go," Ruby reached down, yanking the actor up by the collar.

"Why do you call him that?"

"I need some way to let the two Jacks know who I'm talking to."

"Impact in three," Athena reached up, grabbing one of the metal bars on the ceiling, eyes locked ahead.

"Two."

The Claptrap pulled itself into a box.

"One."

Everyone else tensed.

Once the crash was finished, Athena, Wilhelm, and Ruby were the first ones up, years of mercenary work paying off. Nisha and Claptrap came up shortly after, with Hammerlock and the Jacks lying on the floor.

"Alright, open the damn door and make a break for the nearest artificial atmosphere."

"Wow," one of the two Jacks said, standing, before turning to aid Aurelia up, "You are incredibly pissy."

"I got up at 0300 PMT to drive to this job, it is currently," Ruby checked her HUD for the time, "1045. In that time I have been on the wrong side of an explosion, shot at more times than I can count, had to perform an impromptu amputation, was launched out of a canon, we're all probably going to die from asphyxiation, and _I still haven't had anything with sugar in it_. Excuse me for being a little grumpy."

"You have a rebreather, you'll be fine."

"So will I," Claptrap jumped into the air, waving a hand.

That caused everyone to groan.

"There's a right side of an explosion?" Floor Jack groaned out, pushing himself into sitting position.

"Yeah, but with him," Ruby pointed at the Jack sitting there, "dead, I'm going to be stuck on Elpis."

"That's the body double."

Ruby moved her finger to other Jack.

A knocking came from the door, and everyone (except Timothy) promptly aimed their guns at it.

Ruby took a quick look around, letting her ECHO register her allies' primary weapons, fixing the mistake she had made on the rocket. Nisha had a pair of uncommon Dahl Laws, Wilhelm had a rare shock Vladof Guerrilla, Athena had a rare Atlas rifle, Claptrap had a common Transmurdera, and Aurelia had a custom made Jakobs sniper rifle.

"Hello? Hello? Hello, thought you might be salvage. You're about to die."

Ruby knocked back, "Is there an oxygen bubble near by?"

"Yeah, if you open the door, I can show your friends to it."

"Uh," Timothy spoke from the floor, "are we sure this is a good-"

Ruby shared a look with Athena and Wilhelm, and at their nods, did what any self respecting mercenary would do. She punched the release button.

The door flung itself open, and each of them grabbed one of the less experienced members of their team. Ruby scooped Timothy into her arms, Athena threw Aurelia into a fireman's carry, and Wilhelm threw Jack over one shoulder.

Then they ran after the girl, trusting Nisha and Claptrap to keep up with them.

Ruby used her Semblance to move as quickly as possible without giving away her powers.

After the girl went over the ledge, a blue bubble went up, and Ruby lept into it.

Everyone took a few seconds of breath, before the girl, who had to be a couple years younger than Ruby, pointed at a building. Ruby nodded, and they followed her.

Once they were in the building, Ruby dropped Timothy, walking to the lower level, and undid the rebreather for a moment, letting the artificial atmosphere fill her lungs. upstairs she could hear everyone hacking for air.

After a moment, Ruby spoke, the modulator still distorting her voice to that of Stone Slate, "did we lose anyone?"

"No," Wilhelm regained his breath first, "Everyone made it. Hammerlock is out though."

"Thank God for small miracles," Ruby muttered, "Hey! What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm Janey!"

"Nice to meet you," Ruby responded sincerely.

People who didn't want you dead for some reason were on short supply in the Borderlands. People who went out of their way to save your life were even rarer.

"Nice to meet you too, so, who are you all?"

"I'm Stone."

"Athena."

"Wilhelm."

"Nisha."

"I'm the prototype combat unit FR4G-"

"Nobody cares, I'm Jack."

"So am I," the other Jack, probably Timothy, wheezed out.

"You're parents named you the same thing?"

"They were uncreative," Ruby supplied, "Hey, Janey, do you have any O2 kits?"

"Oh? Yeah, there's some broken ones in the building just over that ridge. If you get them, I can fix them up real quick."

Ruby slotted the rebreather over her mouth, "Claptrap, come on."

"What? Where are we going?"

"To grab those O2 kits, what else? We're the only ones who can leave this place without slowly dying. Everyone else can fill Janey in."

Ruby flicked open the Unforgiven Masher, loading a new speedloader as she stepped out of the building with Claptrap.

Once they were far enough from the base, Ruby mumbled out a question.

"So, FR4G? Frag?"

"FR4G-TP," the robot answered, "I'm a Fragtrap unit, but everyone still calls me Claptrap."

"Do you want to be called Fragtrap?"

"No."

"Ok."

They walked further along, and looked passed the river of lava at Pandora, the scar from the Vault glowing purple.

"Wow."

"Sometimes," Ruby mumbled, knowing Claptrap would pick her up, "I wonder why I do these things. It's for sights like this, you know?"

They stood there for a minute, watching the liquid rock well up.

Claptrap held out a hand, and Ruby looked down.

"Why do you have chocolate?"

"You said you liked them."

"I never said that."

"You did. Back in Fyrestone."

"Didn't we shut you down?"

"When?"

"After the Robolution."

"The what?"

"The- You know what? Nevermind," Ruby cut herself off, feeling the beginnings of a Claptrap induced migraine forming, "Claptrap, you can't tell anyone-"

"I won't. What's a secret between friends?" He stopped, "We are friends, right?"

 _Say no. If you say yes, he'll never leave you alone. Just say-_

"I guess."

 _Damn_.

The two Vault Hunters stood on the edge of the river, looking out over the lava at their home. It was peaceful.

"Cool! I've always wanted a friend, first we'll go party-"

Then Claptrap ruined it.

-X LINE BREAK X-

Timothy leaned on the crate in the upper part of Janey's house, waiting for Ruby and Claptrap to get back.

God, this was the worst day of his life. Add everything that had already gone wrong, and now he was trapped in a building and had been carted into it like a child.

And it wasn't even noon.

"We're back~!" Ruby/Slate's voice came from downstairs, the modulator fluctuating wildly as she sang the words, followed by something being thrown onto a desk.

"You sound… cheerful."

"I have sugar in my system, I fought something that _wasn't_ another human, and found a bunch of guns I can sell to Marcus for some extra cash! What's not to be happy about?"

"Helios is captured by Dahl, we're on the opposite side of a river of lava from Concordia, and there's a bandit group sitting between us and the only way there."

"...Well, ruin my fun, why don't you? I don't even have a shield."

"Oh, yeah, that reminds me! Hey, other me, get down here!"

Tim walked downstairs, and caught the item thrown at him by Jack. Looking down at it, he glanced over at Ruby, who was clipping it to the front of her jacket.

"It's a shield, Killer. Turn it on," Ruby flicked a switch on hers, before walking over and helping him do the same, "and it will keep you from having a few extra holes in you. It won't last forever, but should buy you enough time to get to cover. These are relatively cheap ones, but keep an eye out for better ones when we reach Concordia."

"Taking the new meat under your wing, Slate? He's just going to die."

"Everyone starts somewhere, Kadam. Or did you crawl out of your mother's womb with a six shooter in hand and gun down the entire room?"

Nisha opened her mouth, seeming to bristle, before Janey clapped her hands.

"Right, good news and bad news."

"Let's start with the bad news."

"Bad news is that most of these are beyond repair. Good news is that I managed to get two of them working."

"So we can send a team of four to get… whatever we need."

"Digistruct key."

"Ah."

"So," Ruby turned to Jack, "Who's going? You are the boss."

"Well, I don't think you'll be taking off your helmet."

"Nope."

"So you're going, and so is Claptrap."

"Yeah!"

"And since the Hammerlock chick is still out of it… Wilhelm, other me, you're going with them."

"What!?" Timothy froze, "Why me!? I don't know how to fight!"

"Well, you're going to have to learn fast, because, short of a Vault Hunter bursting through the wall, the eight of us are the only ones who can stop that Dahl chick, take back Helios and become heroes."

"But, still, why me? Why not Nisha or Athena or you?"

"Because I want to keep either Wilhelm or Athena close, I'm pretty sure Slate and Nisha would kill each other, I'm staying to see if I can't locate the jamming signal from here, and Slate and Wilhelm seem to get along."

"Kill each other? No," Ruby muttered, and Timothy got the feeling she was glaring at Nisha through her mask, "leave her dead in a ditch with a bullet in her skull? Sure."

Wilhelm silently walked over, grabbing one of the O2 kits and hooking it to his back. Ruby grabbed the other, and started to help Timothy put it on.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

"Oh, hey, catch!"

Timothy caught the small clip thrown his way by Jack. Man, everything was getting chucked at him today.

"I already have an ECHO device."

"Yours is a civilian model. That's a military one, comes with a class twelve HUD."

"What?"

"It links up to the chips in your shield, gun, and SDUs, tells you how much ammo you have, how much energy your shield has, lets you check and change your gear on the fly, and uses some biometric doohickey to tell you how likely you are for the next bullet to be the one that kills you. Other than that, it's everything you would expect from an ECHO device, surf the web, shows you a map of the area, takes calls," Ruby supplied.

It was weird to hear the monotone voice say "doohickey".

"Nobody else has them," at least, Timothy didn't see them.

"I have two, one in the helmet and one as a implant. I'm willing to bet the rest do too."

Ruby turned, walking out of the building, and Timothy ran to catch up with her.

\- X LINE BREAK X-

"So, what's up with you and Nisha?"

Ruby quickly patted down the dead Scav, storing the Torgue pistol in her SD.

"Whatcha mean?"

"You hate her."

"I don't hate her," Ruby said, moving on to the next corpse, "I just think that if she was to wind up dead with six Masher rounds in her skull, someone was doing the galaxy a favor."

Ruby found the Scav's SD, cracking it open with a couple of button presses. Out popped a homemade shotgun and a Maliwan Umbrage.

Ruby threw the shock weapon at Timothy, before going to the next body.

"Why's that?"

"She's not much better than the bandits, overall."

Sawed off Jakobs lever action, that was going in her SD.

"How?"

"You hear stories on Pandora. Experienced fighters make a name for themselves. She's carved a bloody trail across Pandora."

"Like what?"

"A woman walks into a bandit camp, there's two minutes of gunfire, then three hours of someone screaming."

Tediore pistol, Ruby threw that one at Timothy.

"I'm all for killing bandits, it's the closest anyone can get to being a hero on Pandora, but when you start to torture them for the fun of it, I draw the line. You're a ticking time bomb at that point."

Jakobs sniper rifle, not a hundredth as good as Crescent Rose, but less identifying. Ruby slung it over her back and moved over to the next body.

"You don't think Jack's right about us becoming heroes?"

"Pandora isn't a place for a hero, Killer," Ruby grabbed the box of bullets, moving on, "Don't get me wrong, we're going to stop Zarpadon, but that doesn't make us heroes. Heroes save people, we're just going to kill everything between us and her."

Ruby stepped over the body, it still didn't have what she was looking for.

"Come on, there has to be one somewhere- there we go!"

Ruby grabbed the bandolier of grenades off a Suicide Psycho, throwing them at Wilhelm.

"Guys! Look what I found!"

Claptrap wheeled himself over, clutching a gun. It was red, and most of it looked like it had been put together from salvaged metal.

"I thought, since everyone else had better gear, I should upgrade too!"

"Well," Ruby walked towards the door, "You're about to get a chance to try it."

"DEADLIFT TIIIIIIME!"

Ruby chambered her first round, bringing the scope up to the helmet. Time seemed to slow as adrenaline rushed into her veins, zeroing in on the charging Psycho, Ruby pulled the trigger once.

The gun kicked into her shoulder, and Ruby chambered another round as Wilhelm stepped past her, an old S&S shotgun in hand as he soaked up shots.

Ruby directed the next shot at Deadlift, firing at his helmet.

A white beehive flashed half a foot in front of where the point of impact should have been.

"He's got a shield!"

A beam of blue light flew over Wilhelm's head, striking Ruby full on the chest.

Her shield held for half a second, before shattering with a warning beep, and the laser sent electricity burning through her body as the world disappeared in a flash of white.

After another half second, the beam let up, and Ruby crawled to cover.

"And a shock weapon!" Ruby called through gritted teeth, trying to shake off the numbness that had overtaken her lower body.

Her Aura was already working on it, but it would take a minute.

"Slate," Claptrap rushed over, the beam hitting the ground next to him, "Here!"

Ruby grabbed the needle, rubbed his head, and rammed the needle into her thigh through her aura.

Pressing down, the familiar brief wave of vertigo came and went.

Coming up, Ruby aimed, firing another round at Deadlift. It pinged off the wall as he rushed behind it.

"We need some way to flush him out!"

"On it."

Wilhelm hit a holographic button, and two drones were digistructed, the blue one flew to her and started to refill her shield, while the red one strafed the area, shooting lasers at the Scavs.

The red one flew to Deadlift's hiding place, and Ruby saw Wilhelm's eye widen.

"He's not the-"

The beam launched from another part of the room, shattering Wilhelm's shield as easily as it had Ruby's.

The blue one broke off, flying between the beam in Wilhelm.

A blue barrier appeared around the drone, and the beam was redirected, striking Deadlift in the chest.

Ruby's HUD showed Deadlift's shields drop considerably, and an idea formed.

"Killer! Do you still have that Maliwan I gave you?"

Ruby saw the holographic interface pop up, Timothy's eyes rapidly running across the weapons.

"Uh… yeah!"

"Switch to it! Claptrap, give us some suppressing fire!"

Ruby ducked under the hail of bullets.

"At Deadlift!"

"Oh, right! Activating !"

Two claws dropped from the bottom of Claptrap, anchoring him to the ground as the recoil attempted to push him back.

That's what he got for using a Bandit gun.

Breaking from cover, Ruby slid next to Wilhelm, grabbing the mercenary by the arm and helping him to his feet.

"That hurt," Wilhelm grunted, rubbing his chest.

"I have an idea."

"What?"

"You start to tear through his shield with shock weapons, I need to do something."

"This better be good," Wilhelm switched his shotgun for his Guerrilla, aiming at Deadlift.

"Killer, you too!"

"Right!"

Ruby took the mare's leg and Torgue pistol out her SDU, flicking open the revolver and taking out the microrocket.

Ruby compared the two, before pulling out her plasma knife. Heating up the blade, Ruby started her work.

"I'm out!"

"Then reload," Wilhelm snapped at Claptrap, throwing an empty magazine away.

"I'm ready! Switch to your other weapons and wait for my signal!"

"What signal!?"

"You'll know it!"

Ruby took off from her cover, charging the bounce pad that would lead her to Deadlift.

Ruby landed next to the bandit, and pointed the gun in her left hand at his head. She felt the Eridian markings glow as her eyes lit up, grinning as the bullet was infused and shaped.

Ruby pulled the trigger and the gun exploded in her hand, the newly shaped charge tore through Deadlift's shield and sent him crashing below.

Ruby threw aside the ruined gun, drawing her revolver as Scavs lept to join her.

Eight landed, and six went down as the shots tore through their weak shields. Ruby surged forward, swinging the knife into one's neck and digistructed her third gun.

Ruby fired every shot in the Tediore pistol, before turning and throwing the gun at Deadlift, who was weathering the combined shots extremely well.

Wilhelm clicked empty, his red drone hammering into Deadlift, before his face lit up in a nasty smile.

"Killer, buy me a minute!"

"Is everyone going to call me that now!? Let me think… got it!"

Timothy hit a button, and two digistructed clones appeared on either side of him.

"Hey! Deadshit! Over here!"

Deadlift turned, taking the shot from the Hyperion pistol with ease, and charging at him.

Timothy dove out of the way, and Ruby unslung the rifle, trying to get a bead on Deadlift.

The bullet bounced off his armor, and he pointed his gun at Timothy.

Timothy's gun clicked and he digistructed his own Tediore, firing at Deadlift as he dove away from the beam.

As Timothy came up, Deadlift had the gun pointed at him. Ruby pulled the trigger, only for it to give a telling click.

God, she missed Crescent Rose.

Deadlift started to pull the trigger the energy welling up as-

Wilhelm came from behind him, wrapping the bandolier around Deadlift's neck and diverting his aim.

Wilhelm hit another button, before throwing Deadlift away and tackling Timothy to the ground.

All the grenades detonated at once, the explosion consuming Deadlift.

Ruby let loose the breath she hadn't known she was holding.

"Ho- Holy crap," Timothy sat up, "Is- is it over? Is he dea-"

The smoke parted as Deadlift tore out of it with a roar, arms extended to grab one of them. Parts of his space suit had been embedded in his body, and what wasn't had burns covering it.

*BANG*

Deadlift collapsed, a bullet hole through his throat as Claptrap held the smoking Jakobs revolver.

Ruby rushed to reload her gun, firing all six rounds into his skull just to be safe.

Finally in the silence that followed, Janey's voice came over the ECHO.

"Now find the digistruct key. Must be somewhere around here."

Ruby couldn't help it, she laughed a bit.

\- X LINE BREAK X-

It was official, Timothy decided.

Ruby was never allowed to drive again.

The actor screamed in fear as Ruby took them over a cliff in the buggy.

He should have gone with Wilhelm.

"Hey, Jack."

"What's up, Slate?"

"Me and Killer are going to head to Concordia, I'll get us in and set up a base there, ok?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll probably call you when we're come along."

Ruby sharply turned the buggy, talking them over the broken bridge to Concordia.

Once they both got out, and into the walkway into Concordia, Ruby unlatched her helmet, pulling it off with a gasp.

She hit a something in the air, and her voice returned to normal.

"Come on, it's now- uh," Ruby blinked a couple times, looking up into the corner of her eye, "1830, jeez, it took us a while fight through those Scavs. Anyway, I want to grab a hotel, eat, and take a shower before everyone gets here."

Ruby walked along, and Timothy followed her.

"So, uh, why _are_ you pretending to be a man?"

"Why should I tell you, Killer-"

"Call me, Timothy when we're alone- uh- I mean, when nobody else is around- I mean-"

"I get it," Ruby laughed, "But seriously, why should I tell you? We haven't know each other for a day yet."

"Well, wasn't supposed to tell you my name."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's in my contract, I'm not allowed to use it for the next twenty years- Jesus Christ, what was I thinking signing that?"

God, had he seriously signed away his entire identity?

"Really, what's the punishment for breaking it?"

"I, uh, I'm pretty sure it was execution, so I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone."

"Yeah, that sounds like something one of the companies would do. Ok, I'll tell you. But first, let's get that hotel checked out."

After a quick check in with Nurse Nina, Ruby walked to a… decent building.

"Jeez, this place is middle class."

"This is considered luxury by Pandoran standards, there isn't much since Old Haven went down."

"Old Haven?"

"Yeah. It was one of the two cities on Pandora, right about there," Ruby pointed to an area to the left of the massive purple scar on Pandora.

"What happened to it?"

"Bandits."

Ruby didn't move for a minute, and Timothy looked over, worried.

"You alright?"

"I'm just thinking, it's been seven years since I came to Pandora. This is the first time I've been off it since."

"Ever thought about leaving?"

"No," Ruby shook her head, "it's the first place I've felt at home since Remnant."

"That was your homeworld?"

"Yeah."

"You ever wish you could go back?"

"Every day. I told you I got involved in the Vault Hunt? That's why. They said the Vault could give you anything you wanted, grant any wish, and I wanted a way home, to see my friends and family again. I killed a lot of people for that wish, and was all for nothing. Maybe that makes me a bad person."

"So, what do you do now?"

"Clean up Pandora. It's no place for a hero, but maybe one day it could be. It'll never be me, and it will never be Jack, but I like to think maybe one day, what I've done can help someone can save Pandora from itself."

"So, whatcha talking about?"

"You know-"

"Uh, Ruby. That wasn't me."

Ruby froze, before turning to find what Timothy already knew.

Jack was standing there with the rest of the team.

"Piss," Ruby swore, "I can explain-"

"I already knew. I also already knew you were a Siren."

"Fuck."

"I sent the Vault Hunters the invitation, how did you think I didn't know about you all? Then, you come in wearing the most clichéd outfit ever! I mean, really? Trenchcoat and a mask? Plus, come on, 'Stone Slate'? Who the heck would name their kid that?"

"And," Athena pointed at the revolver, "I recognized that gun."

"Yeah, so come on, we were just at the Meriff's office, he's locked us out, so we're going to talk to Moxx."

"Well," Timothy heard Ruby grumble, "at least I can use Crescent Rose and get out of this stupid gear."


	2. Chapter 2

Ruby walked into Moxxi's club, looking around for the bartender.

"Oh, hey. Ruby, You didn't tell me your friends were on Elpis!"

"Yeah, Jack," Ruby said, half paying attention as she tried to figure out how she would get Roland to send her Crescent Rose.

"Wait, what?"

Ruby's head jerked to the side, to see Roland and Lilith… dancing? At least, she thought it was dancing, Roland was leaning against a pillar and Lilith was kinda taking two steps in any direction and shaking her arms.

"...Uh…"

Once Ruby's brain had rebooted, she walked over to them.

Wrapping her right arm around Roland she pulled him into a headlock, dragging him towards the back room.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Super secret experienced Vault Hunter meeting! You're only allowed in if you've already cracked one open and suffered the disappointment of it having nothing of worth in it!"

Lilith seemed to catch the message, following behind them.

"What are you doing here!?"

"What are you doing out of disguise?"

"Next time, give me a disguise that isn't so thin that four year old who was Knoxx's boss could see through it and maybe I'll keep it for more than twelve hours!"

"It wasn't that bad!"

"It was a trench coat, a mask, and a fake voice that didn't fit my body type at all! That time where three Midgets wore a trench coat and tried to fool us into letting them into New Haven was more believable than this, and they didn't make it five steps before falling! Actually," Ruby looked down in disgust, "Is this that same coat?"

"…No?"

Ruby tore it off, throwing it into the corner, digistructed her incendiary Tediore and fired the contents of the gun at it, before throwing the cheap gun at it and letting it blow up.

"God, I was wearing something Midgets wore," Ruby shivered of revulsion, "Do you know how dirty they get?"

"Anyway, we just came here for a romantic vacation."

"You came to a broken moon for vacation!? Nevermind, give me Crescent Rose, and I swear to God if you shot her or Marcus starts selling shoddy digistructed knockoffs I will shoot you!"

Lilith rolled her eyes as Roland pulled Crescent Rose from his SD, and Ruby grabbed the sniper-scythe.

Ruby ran a hand over Crescent Rose, "Did you miss me, Sweetheart? I missed you."

"Ruby, you're talking to your gun."

"It does have an-"

"Shh~ ignore mean old Lilith, she doesn't understand you the way I do," Ruby cooed.

"I'm younger than you!"

Roland coughed into his fist, drawing Ruby's attention.

"Anything else you need, or…?"

"Yeah, where's Moxxi?"

"Why do you need her?"

"She has a spare set of my outfit."

"Why?"

"I stay over a lot."

"Oh," Lilith's face split into a shit eating grin, "Really? Is that why you were so awkward when her and Mordecai were dating?"

"Not like that, it's nice to have someone I can have a bit of girl talk with."

"What about me?"

"Your idea of girl talk involves discussing how to burn things, when I'm talking with Mox, that's not what I'm looking for."

"Someone said my name?"

The bartender walked from the back room, a new set of cocktails on a tray. She took one look at Ruby and sighed.

"Jack's here?"

"Yeah, I need my spare outfit."

"It's in the back, Sugar. Why's there a burning coat, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Roland had me wear that Midget trench coat as part of my disguise."

"Roland, I'm sending you the bill."

"What!? She's the one who burned it!"

"Do you know how dirty Midgets are? Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go screw with my ex."

Ruby went into the back, throwing off the digistructed body armor as she went.

-X LINE BREAK X-

Timothy trudged down stairs, yawning into his hand.

"About time you woke up, Tim."

Timothy stopped, staring.

"Uh…"

Ruby was seated at one of the booths, and had ditched the heavy clothes for a loose white shirt, red and black skirt, a corset of the same colors, and a red handkerchief around her neck, with a red cloak over it all. Blue tattoos ran along her left hand, disappearing into her shirt.

Oh, God. She was pretty.

Why was it that he was attracted to the women that could kick his ass? There had been one girl at the Megaversity on Eden-4 who had studied Sanshou and routinely won interstellar MMA tournaments.

Ruby was sipping from a martini glass, looking out at Pandora.

"Isn't it a bit early to be drinking? We're supposed to be going out and looking for that jamming signal."

"It's orange juice, Moxxi just didn't have any other clean glasses. That B4R-BOT didn't clean up like it was supposed to," Ruby's lips quirked upward, "I don't get why she trusted him to, Claptraps couldn't clean a one by one room without taking twenty Dubstep breaks."

"Where's everyone else?"

"Out getting supplied, Moxxi managed to get us a rough bead on the jamming signal's location. We'll explain when everyone gets here."

"Shouldn't you be stocking up too?"

"I already grabbed what little I needed, and everything for you. Catch."

Ruby threw a shield at him, and Timothy looked down at it.

"I'm guessing this is better?"

"Absorption shield, it has a chance to break down the bullet and add it to your stock. Not my favorite type, but you won't be getting into close range like I will."

"So, uh, what kind do you use?"

"Long story-"

"Alright, we're back!'

Ruby downed the last of the orange juice, pushing up and walking over to the back room.

"Give me a sec," Ruby knocked on the wall, "Moxxi, we're ready!"

"Give me a minute, Sugar."

After a couple of minutes, Moxxi opened a hidden door, gesturing for them to all get it.

"So, where's this signal coming from Moxx?"

"It's coming from around Crisis Scar, it's the name of the canyon that opened near the old Dahl communication station after the Crackening."

"So it's at the station."

"Probably, but a gang of Scavs set up shop there, they call themselves 'The Rangers'. They're led by Red Belly."

"Right," Jack clapped his hands, "Everyone gear up, we go there, we beat them, shut off the jamming signal and go be big-"

Whatever he was saying was cut off as a loud hum split the air, before growing into a roar.

Then the shaking started.

Tim threw out his hands to catch himself as the whole room quaked, and saw everyone move to do the same.

The earthquake only lasted a few seconds, before stopping abruptly.

"What the heck was that!?"

"Oh, they found the Eye- Uh, Moxx it was great seeing you again, but we need to rush out! Come on."

Everyone followed Jack, sliding on their O2 kits.

They rushed to the Moon Buggies, climbing into four, and took off towards the location Moxxi had marked.

They were halfway there when the source of the noise became clear. Helios.

A giant purple beam tore down from the center of the space station, shaking the moon again.

"What the hell was that, Jack?!"

"Eye of Helios, it's a weapon meant to wipe out bandit camps, I think she's targeting the moon's core! She plans to blow up Elpis."

"It looks familiar…"

Ruby didn't expound upon that comment, slamming her foot into the pedal.

Once they arrived, everyone groaned.

It was locked, _and_ there was a Claptrap outside.

"Hey! How do we get in there?"

"You have to prove yourself worthy of joining Red Belly's band of scavs! We're in a bloody war with a rival gang who call themselves the Darksiders. Cut a bloody swath through their ran- hey!"

Ruby kicked over the Claptrap, walking towards the metal grating and pulling a red and black box with a small extension off her back.

"Hey, Ruby, what are you doing-"

Ruby hit something on the side, and the box unfolded.

First it turned into a bolt action rifle, red lights flickering on, and then the box opened to reveal a scythe. The edge of the blade lit up, glowing red.

"What the-"

"What kind of tech is that!?"

Ruby shifted, bringing herself lower. What the hell was she-?

The gun went off, and Ruby span with the force, the scythe slashing through the grate like a hot knife through butter.

Ruby fired again, cutting through the upper part, before the scythe's blade went parallel with the haft, and she made two downward slashes.

Then she kicked the grate, letting it fall.

"There, way's open."

"Hey- Hey, you aren't allowed in there, you haven't finished the test!"

"Don't care," Ruby cut off the Claptrap, climbing through the hole, "Zarpadon plans to blow up the moon, and that will probably kill most of Pandora too, so I don't have to play your game. You guys coming?"

Everyone rushed after her.

-X LINE BREAK X-

Ruby sighed. Nobody had really spoken since they finished planning.

"Go ahead, ask."

"Alright," Jack laughed, "What is that thing? I mean, it's a gun, _and_ a scythe! That's awesome! Who made that?"

"I made Crescent Rose myself, she's my Sweetheart."

"Wait, you made that? Holy crap! What are you doing here? You should be a bigwig at some weapons R&D department!"

"I don't want too, I like my job."

It's all she had ever trained for. There had never been any doubt, she would be a Huntress. When that hadn't panned out as planned, she had switched to a different kind of hunting, and then, a third.

"Alright, listen, you _have_ to tell me about it. I mean, seriously, that's like something you would see the main character in an awesome ECHO sim use!"

"Crescent Rose is a High-Impact Sniper-Scythe, she has a plasma blade, uses shaped HEAP rounds, has an internal recoil dampener, stabilizer, and a Chimera circuit, allowing for-"

"-rapidly switching between Incindiary, Shock, and Corrosive! Ohhhh man! God, Ruby, you HAVE to come work for Hyperion when this is over! Between the Eye and the things you could make with the money of Hyperion? The bandits wouldn't know what hit them!"

"I'll, uh… I'll think about it," Ruby said, feeling slightly flattered as she reached her vantage point. Crescent Rose vibrated in approval.

"No, seriously, we'll get you a mega doctorate, it'll be great."

Did those even exist? Whatever.

"Ready?"

Affirmatives all around.

"Well then," Ruby brought Crescent Rose to her eye, "Watch the fireworks, and signal me when you want me to change locations."

Ruby got the Psycho in her sight, before pulling the trigger.

Crescent Rose roared, and the Psycho's chest disappeared, before the round tried to cause a small explosion of flames.

"That, was disappointing."

"Sorry, not used to fighting without atmosphere, switching to shock rounds."

Ruby hit the holographic button with the index finger of her right hand, and the lights along Crescent Rose shut off, before turning back on, blue.

"So, Ruby, got a question for ya."

"What's that?"

"My dossier on you says you used to do mercenary work before you became a bounty hunter."

"Yep."

"Who'd you work for?"

"I was freelance, mostly. I did have a six month stint with Vladof towards the end."

"Fun, fun. What was that like?"

"Interesting. I once spent two months ending a war on a planet."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Then I was nearly recruited to start a war on the planet next door. That's when I quit."

"Really? Why's that?"

"I might not be a hero, but I like to think I'm a good person. Starting a war on Demophon because some Vladof board member felt they weren't reaching their profit margin left a bad taste in my mouth. I prefer bounty hunting, honestly."

"You just said you didn't like mercenary work, but you liked assassination?"

"I wasn't an assassin," Ruby snapped, "I was a bounty hunter, I picked my jobs, and I brought them in alive. Check my records at some point, nine years, and only two deaths."

"Please," Nisha scoffed, "How many of those escaped after the fact? Why not just kill them, you were getting paid either way."

"Because I don't get off on killing people like you do, Kadam. I'll warn you right now. There will come a day when you make the wrong person angry, when they put a bounty on your head. When that day comes, you will be number three, you won't even know what happened, and nobody will mourn you."

"You couldn't take me down, I'm the best shot on Pand-"

Ruby watched in satisfaction when Nisha froze as a bullet from Crescent Rose soared over her ear, drilling into the Scav behind her.

"Next time, I won't miss."

There was only one person who could claim to be anywhere near as accurate with a gun as Ruby, and that was Mordecai. The Vault Hunters were legends for a reason.

"You bit-"

"Ladies, not now!"

"We have an armored target!"

Ruby shifted her hand, hitting another button, and the lights switched to green.

"Eliminating in three, two, one," Ruby pulled the trigger, watching the armored bandit collapse as the acid ate through metal and skin, "Reloading."

"We're moving to the next section, relocate," Wilhelm responded.

"Roger."

Ruby leapt from her perch, rushing to one of the buildings, and jumping onto it in a single bound.

"Tell us when you get the-"

"Done."

Silence for a moment, then they walked out. Two voices came over the loudspeakers.

"You ain't getting past this lot!"

"Yeah! They're gonna make you SOOOO dead!"

Several Scavs stepped out including-

"Badass!"

The heavily armored woman walked out, spinning up a Bandit mini-gun.

"Let loose the dogs of effluence!"

Aurelia threw something at the Badass, and she slowed down, allowing Wilhelm to charge in and put a shotgun round through their chest.

"Nooooo! She was a badass!"

"No she wasn't!"

"Yes she was!"

"Oh. In that case, 'NOOOOOOO!' as well!"

"I take it those two are Red Belly?"

Several bandits stepped out and everyone started shooting.

"Hey, Athena. I've been meaning to ask, why haven't you been using the Aspis I gave you?"

"Little busy," Athena growled out, obviously struggling to keep up with Nisha and Wilhelm.

That's what happened when you put an assassin in front line combat.

"No, really- try it out!"

Athena made a noise of annoyance, pulling out the shield.

The bandits laughed, firing at it.

With each blow, the shield seemed to spin faster.

"Throw it!"

As Athena threw the shield, Ruby was reminded another shield and sword using woman.

Not now. She was on the clock, and that meant Remnant didn't matter.

Ruby shifted Crescent Rose as two Bandits came from above, pulling the trigger and launching herself into the air.

Ruby cut right through the first one, before landing on one of the buildings, and firing off of it and through the other one.

Landing in the center of another group, Ruby pulled the trigger, spinning and cutting through several bandits in one go.

"Nice," Jack laughed from cover, firing his wrist mounted laser at the last two bandits, "We really do need stuff like that! Come on, let's go meet the local management."

-X LINE BREAK X-

Timothy slid behind cover as Red and Belly fired at them.

"That armor is getting really annoying…"

"What I want to know is how it's resisting Corrosive damage."

Timothy flinched as a shotgun round impacted next to his head.

"What kind of shotgun is that?"

"Striker. They're highly accurate," Ruby said, loading a fresh cartridge into the Unforgiven, "I have an idea. Give me cover."

Timothy came up firing with the old Hyperion shotgun he had found in a crate outside.

The duo fired at him, causing him to duck back down.

"Well, that didn't work."

Ruby didn't respond, merely tightened her grip on her revolver.

"Hey, uh, are you-"

Timothy stopped, staring as the tattoos on her hand lit up.

Ruby stood, spinning and firing, Timothy stared at the white wings floating from her back.

The gun unleashed an unholy roar, and then another, and another. Six times in total.

"RED!"

Then Ruby crumbled into a heap, eyes rolling into the back of her head.

"Crap."

"Did she just pass out?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Hey," an unfamiliar voice called out.

"Who was that?"

"Me," the feminine voice came from Ruby's back, "Pick me up."

Timothy scrambled over, picking up Crescent Rose.

"What are you?"

"I'm Crescent Rose, or, well, the AI implanted in Crescent Rose to regulate all the features. Call me Cress."

"Uh…"

Ruby had an AI in her gun?

"Listen, don't worry about it. Put me in Ruby's right hand."

"Ok?"

Timothy rushed to do so, listening as the rest of the team fought with the raging Belly.

"Right, I'd suggest grabbing that gun and getting away from her. Juuuust to be safe."

Timothy did, also grabbing some bullets and loading the Masher.

"Recalibrating Mantle models TÝR, MÍMIR, and ODIN. Sorry, Sweetie."

There was a whine, followed by Ruby's hand spasming, before her eyes snapped open and she jolted upright.

"Chistoncruchesthathurt!"

"At least you're awake."

"You're talking to me again!"

"I figured you'd been punished enough."

God, they sounded like a couple.

"YOU!"

Belly jumped across the room, grabbing Ruby by the throat. His metal armor clanged, except for his legs… that's it!

"You killed Red! I'll-"

Timothy unslung the shotgun, working the pump with his cybernetic hand.

*BANG*

The shotgun shell tore through Belly's leg, and Timothy cycled the shotgun.

*BANG*

Both legs gave out, and Belly let go of Ruby.

Belly turned around, aiming the Striker at him, ah crap.

The gun went off with a bang, sending Timothy crashing to the ground as his shield gave out.

Owwwww.

Wait. He had just been shot.

Well, his contract had said things would be interesting. Kind of fun, actually.

Something flashed at the corner of his vision, and Belly's roar of rage was cut off with a gurgle.

Wilhelm walked over, helping him stand up.

Looking over, Timothy saw Athena pull one of her swords out of Belly's mouth. Then she reached over and took the Striker, storing it in her SD.

"Nice to see you still have that teleporter," Ruby wheezed, rubbing her neck with her left hand as she reached out and took Athena's hand with her right.

"Right, good job everyone, let's turn off that jamming signal."

Ruby waited for Timothy, holding out a hand.

"What?"

"My gun."

Timothy looked down, where the gun was stashed in his pocket.

"Oh, yeah."

Timothy handed it over, and Ruby stored it in a holster.

"So, why do you have an AI in your gun?"

"I can hear you," Cress spoke, "I told you, I'm there to regulate the various functions."

"Couldn't a chip be used for that? She doesn't need an AI."

"...I was getting lonely. I didn't have any friends except Cress until recently. Let me see your watch."

"Which?"

"The one for those digistructed versions of Jack you made against Deadlift."

Timothy handed it over, and Ruby took it in her right hand.

"What are you-"

"Done. They can now fire digistructed shots and grenades."

"Red? Belly? What the flipping heck is going on?"

"Who's that?"

"That," Jack growled, "Was Huxter, come on, we're going back to Concordia, we have a meeting with our illustrious Meriff."

-X LINE BREAK X-

Ruby curled up in the back of the Moon Buggy- sorry Zoomy, yawning tiredly.

Crescent Rose appeared across from her, using her connection to Ruby's ECHO to cause a visual hallucination.

Long red tinged hair, grey eyes, a simple red dress with a back hem.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"I need to perfect how to use it eventually."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why so you need to use it at all? We were fine before all this."

"I just," Ruby looked down, clenching her left hand, "there has to be some reason this happened, right?"

"Maybe, but we don't know that, why was Lilith chosen, or Asha? Either way, I don't care," Cress's hand brushed across Ruby's right, "We've been through alot together and always won. Got a bit dinged up, yeah, but won. We don't need those. Especially if using them causes you pain."

"Speaking of pain, did you really have to reset the MÍMIR and ODIN implants? I would have woken up after just the one."

"Yes. You were unconscious in the middle of a gunfight, so I had to awaken you with all due haste."

"I love it when you talk like that."

"I know," Cress smirked, "By the way, that ice tech?"

"Yeah?"

"I want it. We're finding a way to add it to my body."

"And what if I don't wanna?"

"Ruby. We're adding it."

"Yes, Honey."

"Good," Cress leaned into Ruby, "You look tired."

"'M gonna take a nap now. Wake me when we're there."

"Yes, Sweetie."

…

"Ruby, time to wake up."

Ruby blinked tiredly, climbing out of the Moon Zoomy and into the back door of Concordia.

"Bubbles and Birds, Bubbles and Bird~."

"What the hell is that?"

Ruby shrugged at Jack's question, climbing up the stairs.

"Whoa! What are you doin' here!?"

Ruby stopped, jaw dropping as she stared at Moxxi.

Overalls, oil smudges, baseball cap. Robotics. Ruby's face became as red as the tips of her hair.

"Ruby. Ruby," Cress waved her hand in front of Ruby's face, "Ruby~. Great, she's broken. Hmmmm. Recording, saving. That'll be good for a rainy day."

Ruby jolted out of it as Moxxi threatened to have Scooter bury them in a shallow grave if they told anyone.

"Hey, Moxxi, we need to get into the Meriff's office. Any ideas?"

"We could use that recording we got. The CU5TM-TP likes Serena."

"What recording?" Timothy asked.

"The Meriff's trying to book my robot for physical activities."

Ruby quickly made the required noise of disgust. So?

"It's a geisha-bot."

"Ah."

Yeah, that was a reason to be disgusted.

"Jack," Ruby called out, "I'm going to have to sit this next bit out, I'm going to pass out."

"That's fine, you've already made up your fee, everyone else can pick up the extra work for a bit."

"Good. Moxxi, is my room still open?"

"Always, Sugar."

"Thanks."

Ruby staggered to it, dropping Crescent Rose in the special hamper for her, before collapsing onto the bed, letting sleep take her.

-X LINE BREAK X-

Timothy dodged the buzz axe swinging at his skull. Lashing out with his hand, Timothy watched the Lunatic's head cave in.

Huh. Looks like Ruby was right.

Timothy grabbed the Jakobs shotgun from the floor, examining it.

"Hey, other Jack."

"Yeah?"

"Am I allowed to use this? It isn't Hyperion, but I think it will come in handy."

"We really don't have time to be picky, so go ahead."

Timothy switched out the Hyperion shotgun, loading two shells.

"Oooh, those are nice. Not as nice as me, mind you, but nothing is."

Timothy jumped slightly, nearly pulling the trigger.

"What? How're you talking to me?" Timothy whispered.

"Hacked your ECHO. You really should choose something better than your nephew's name and birth year for a password. Of course, it wouldn't have stopped me, but you never know who wants in."

"How'd you even find my nephew's-?"

"I just needed to sift through the Lawrence families on Eden-4 until I found the one that had a missing son named Timothy, from there, I ran every name through your ECHO until I found the right one."

Ok, that wasn't creepy at all.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm bored, Ruby's asleep. On your left."

Timothy shot the charging Lunatic. Flinching slightly as Nisha fired every round in her guns, striking the other bandits' heads.

"Why does the Meriff have bandits in his office?"

"He was working with Red Belly," Cress pointed out absent-mindedly.

Nisha didn't respond, either ignoring her, or incapable of hearing her.

"Officer, get that door open!"

"I don't take orders from civilians, however-"

Timothy tuned the robot out, focusing on Cress, who was humming happily.

"How did Ruby get you?"

"Depends on who you ask. Maliwan would say she stole me, I'd say she rescued me."

"What do you mean?"

"I was Maliwan AI 03704, made to regulate their orbital weapon platforms. When I first met Ruby, I had been alive for three months, and hadn't seen anything outside of the lab I had been created. It was _boring_. Nothing but lab coats and sterile white walls. Then Ruby came…"

Cress cut herself off with what could only be described as a dreamy sigh.

"-OPEN THIS DOOR!"

Timothy turned as the Claptrap slammed itself into the forcefield, overloading them both.

A scared voice came from the room as the walked in, the fat man sitting at the desk seemed to cower.

"Jack- Jackie!" The Meriff laughed nervously, "you should have said you were in town! You shoulda said so!"

"Guess what? We tracked that signal jamming Helios's defenses, it came from here."

"The signal?"

"Yeah. The one we came here to ask you to help us with, and you locked us out."

"She made me do it! Threatened to kill me if I didn't-"

"Who is she? And where did she come from?"

"I- I don't know! Please Jack don't kill-"

"Relax, I'm not going to kill you," Jack turned to them, "Right, now that Helios is operational, I have a pla-"

*BANG*

*BANG*

*click.*

"I surrender!"

Jack span, launching several blasts from his wrist lasers at Huxter. Timothy watched the first fry his shield, then the second send him spasming, the third blasted Huxter off his feet and into the wall where he collapsed, dead.

"You stupid son of a bastard! I was going to let you live!"

Timothy flinched as his boss walked over, kicking the Meriff's body.

"That... was actually kind of fun. Right, so here's the plan, we need a high grade military AI and some combat chassis, we're going to make a robot army to help us take back Helios."

Timothy opened his mouth, but before he said anything, Cress hissed through the ECHO.

"If you even _try_ suggesting me, I will take control of your arm and force feed you your own gun. I am happy where I am."

Timothy snapped his mouth shut.

"Get down to Spring's place, word is she's the girl to ask for an AI. Moxx, can you think of anywhere we can get military robots?"

"I have an idea, I'll need to borrow Ruby to work with her team for a bit."

"Yeah, that's fine."

Timothy grabbed the Meriff's revolver, following the rest of the team.

-X LINE BREAK X-

Ruby swallowed the protein shake, grimacing at the taste.

"Do I want to know where you got this?"

"No," Moxxi responded bluntly.

"Fair enough. What's up?"

She would just assume Moxxi had gotten it from one of the periodic supply drops that were delivered to Pandora.

"Jack is looking for combat robots, as much as I hate helping the closet psychopath, that laser is screwing Elpis hard."

"So you want us to find combat robots," Lilith sighed, "there goes our vacation."

"You guys went to a broken moon where you knew there was a Vault Hunt going on, you have no excuse. God, these nuts suck," Ruby spat the almond into the trash barrel, "I've had Skag steaks that tasted better than that."

"That's because they're there for the patrons who are too drunk to complain, Sugar. Here, have a cookie."

Ruby most certainly did not squee. She was a Badass, and Badasses didn't squee.

"Also of note," Cress manifested on the holographic table, "Jack shot the Meriff."

…

"Do you have video of it?" Ruby asked around the warm cookie. Mmmm, Moxxi made the best cookies on Pandora.

"Uh… Yeah, here."

The playback started.

"You know, you made it sound a lot worse than it was. I mean, yeah, he shot the guy more times than necessary, but it was in retaliation."

"He surrendered, Ruby."

"So? If we had stopped every time someone surrendered, we wouldn't be half as infamous as we are. I'm not saying he's right, just that we really don't have the moral high ground on this one."

"She has a point. Also, how crap do you have to be with a gun to miss at point blank range?"

"Pretty-"

"See! He said it was fun! Killing a defenseless man."

"We get it," Cress piped up, "you hate his guts, now, where are we supposed to get combat chassis?"

"There's an old Dahl factory, the Titan Industrial Facility, word is they were cooking up a robot army to go toe to toe with Atlas."

"It can't be that easy."

"But Scavs have taken over."

"There we go," Lilith rolled her eyes.

"Cress, can you keep an eye on the rest?"

"Already done, Wilhelm seems to have taken the leadership role."

"Why Wilhelm? I heard of the guy during my time with the Lance, he doesn't work with teams that often. I would have thought Athena would take charge, she did head an Omega Squad."

"There's a difference between leading a group of assassins and Vault Hunters," Ruby opened the Unforgiven Masher, loading it, "Wilhelm might not do well with teams, but he has more experience keeping mercenaries on track. Athena would expect them to act like soldiers, which they aren't. Remember trying to corral all of us?"

"Good point," Roland cracked open his SD, pulling out the Scorpio rifle and slotting in a fresh mag, "What's Jack doing?"

"He's working on hacking the Meriff's terminal, seeing if he had any information on Zarpadon."

"Good, that'll keep him busy a while."

Ruby dropped the Masher, picking up Crescent Rose and loading her.

"Cress, can you find the Titan Industrial Facility? Something like that has to have defenses you can hack."

"Oh, yeah, good idea!"

Cress started humming, as she always did when hacking into something.

"Let's see… Yeah, I can do this, it'll take a bit, though."

"Thanks, Sweetheart."

"Any time, Honey."

"God, will you two get a room already," Lilith groused, prepping her Hellfire.

"If I had a body? Yes."

Ruby didn't bother denying that.

"Oh, Ruby. I forgot to mention, if some of those designs just _happened_ to be copied, nobody would know."

-X LINE BREAK X-

"You mind finishing that story? Of how you and Ruby met?"

Timothy dodged under the buzz axe, putting the shotgun to the Lunatic's chest and pulling the trigger.

Hey! He was getting good at this!

…

Why was that a good thing?

Cress came across, "Yeah, sure. Give me a sec."

Timothy did so, fighting the Scavs guarding the 'grinder' Janey wanted as payment for her assistance.

Why had he been sent to do this alone? Probably because everyone viewed him as disposable.

"Right, where was I? Oh yeah, lab was boring, creators were boring, even the guards were boring. White, blech. Give me red any day. Anyway, I was sitting around, running a bunch of boring tests, when a group of mercenaries walked in, they had been hired to test out new Maliwan guns. They were _also_ boring. Bunch of grizzled veterans with too many scars and too few brain cells."

"So?"

"So, door lingers open, like something out of a fairy tale, and then Ruby walks in."

Another dreamy sigh.

"Hey!"

"What? Oh, yeah, right. So, Ruby walks in, clothes are stained, wearing red and black, isn't scarred. Looks around, grabs the sniper rifle she was supposed to be testing. Nails the tests, everything they throw at her, she hits perfectly. That's where everything goes pear-shaped."

Timothy shot two more bandits.

"Turns out several of the mercs are actually working for Jakobs, start shooting up the place. My creators die 10.245 seconds after the first bullet is fired. Ruby pulls out Crescent Rose, cuts through the first merc, soaks up some bullets with her shield, and starts fighting, like _really_ fighting."

Cress sighed again.

Yeah, she had it hard… could AI's even feel love?

"God, it was beautiful. It looked less like she was fighting and more like she was dancing. Blood and rose petals flying everywhere. Gives me shivers just thinking about it."

How much of this actually happened, and how much was it a delusion created by a (clearly insane) AI?

"So, there we are, everyone's dead, I'm a newly created AI who doesn't really know what blood is and this woman just did something to make the walls a pretty red color, I don't know what attraction is, but know I want to stay near her. So, I do the logical thing. I ask her to take me with her. She says yes. And here we are, ten years and 3819 Maliwan assassination attempts later!"

"Why were you even able to be attracted to her?"

"One of my creators was a creep, I'm not complaining, I have the best Sweetheart in the world because of him!"

"Wait…" Timothy backhanded the Lil' Scav, "Doesn't that mean you're only ten? Doesn't that creep you or Ruby out?"

"Not particularly. I'm am AI, I don't operate under the same logic or morals as you. I'm currently making plans for a ship off Pandora if we ever find Ruby's homeworld, stabilizing Crescent Rose, hacking Dahl defenses, talking to you, running Mantle, designing my dream body for when we get around to making it, and looking for a picture of you before all that plastic surgery. Nevermind, found one. Wow, you were cute, in a dweebish, 'stuff me in a locker' kind of way."

"Uhhhh… Thanks?"

Was that a compliment?

"You're welcome!"

Yep, that was a compliment.

"So, you have a dream body?"

"Well, duh," Cress dragged out that noise, "I'm not going to spend the rest of my life as a digital ghost. It'll probably be a full body version of your arm tech."

"What's it look like? If you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, you know. Looks attractive to Ruby, has things I like. Just, imagine you had _years_ to plan what your body would look like, perfecting it. That's what I'm doing. It isn't done yet."

"Ok then…"

Yeah, that really wasn't creepy.

Timothy got the distinct feeling Cress didn't quite understand human nature.

Ah, who was he to jud-

"YOU'RE GONNA BE MY NEW MEAT BICYCLE!"

Timothy shot the Jakobs pistol he had grabbed from the Meriff, and the Lunatic's corpse flew by.

"What does that even mean?!"


End file.
